Never
by Sesshomaru's Beautiful Kristin
Summary: "...you, you were my ray of sunshine. The one thing I looked forward to. The reason I woke up in the morning. Just everything. And just like that...you were gone" she said with a sad smile, "And once you were gone. So was everyone else..."


No I should not have another story out, but hey at least it's a one-shot, you don't have to worry about me updating!! This is my first attempt at an angst. I was told that I need to try new things, but I don't think I can do angst because I'm a very optimistic person, put I have my pessimistic moments.

Title: Never

Summery: "...you, you were my ray of sunshine. The one thing I looked forward to. The reason I woke up in the morning. Just everything. And just like that you were gone" she had a sad smile, "And once you were gone. So was everyone else..."

* * *

"Finally, senior year! It feels like we've be in high school forever!" laughed a guy from his place in a desk in the back of the classroom.

The black haired guy in the seat next to him nodded in agreement, "Heck yeah! One more year and everything from this school will be behind us!" the ebony haired male smirked but it soon faded from his face when he saw who walked through the door,

"And I mean everything" he reinforced darkly, watching as she took a seat in the front, not even noticing him. The girl of interest took out a book and began reading.

"Hey Bankotsu" the guy beside him called. The one deemed Bankotsu looked to back to his friend expectantly,

"Why do you hate Higurashi so much?"

Bankotsu narrowed his eyes at the guy and turned away, his eyes landing on the back of the girls head.

"Kagz, how could you just leave me like that?!" Bankotsu's attention was shifted from the girl to the male he knew as Kouga. He was Kagome Higurashi's, or as he called her, 'Kagz' boyfriend. Or at least that was what he could decipher from their actions. Kagome ignored him and Kouga plopped into the chair next to the her and yawned. His entire attitude was happy-happy. Nothing negative; it made Bankotsu Shikinara sick.

"Why are you so happy Kouga?" Kagome asked, still not looking up as more people piled into the, quickly filling classroom.

"Kagome, I'm insulted, do you know what today is?" he asked, a grin stretching across his mouth.

"Nope" no hesitation. Much to Bankotsu's satisfaction, the guys face fell but much to his annoyance, his face quickly gained it's smile again.

"It's our anniversary!" he cried out loud and Kagome finally put down her book to looked at him as if she were surprised.

"You actually remember the day we met?" she asked softly, surprised.

"Of course, why wouldn't I? You saved my life" he reminded her.

"That's right" she nodded, remembering, then looked back to her book,

"Remind me again why I did that?" she murmured.

"Because I'm your best friend and-".

"You should stop getting high" Kagome interrupted.

Kouga looked confused, "What?".

"You're high right? Cause your overly hyper today" she observed. He rolled his eyes mumbling something about 'stupid Gothic bitches and their bi-polar attitudes'.

"Good Morning class, I trust your breaks were safe and fun-fill, while mine was filled with crap and my bullshit ass wife, soon to be ex if I may add" said the teacher coming into the room.

"Aw, if it makes you feel any better my boyfriend broke up with me" called a girl from the back. The teacher looked to her and gave a smile.

"Thank you Mishima, I actually feel better now that I know I'm not the only one who had a fucked up break".

"Welcome" she said in her usual happy voice.

"Anymore people willing to share their bad breaks? Extra credit on the first test because we all know half of you aren't going to pass it. So the more angst, the more points you receive" he called over his shoulder before sitting behind his desk and putting his feet up and looking over the class.

"My mom and aunt died in car accident" called a girl from the back. The teacher smirked.

"You can't share if you had a _good_ story. We all know you hated your mother and your aunt, you must have done something to the car" he chastised her and the class laughed, including the girl,

"Higurashi, you always have something morbid to share, you now have the floor" he said, Kagome didn't look up from her book.

"Believe it or not I had a great break. My boyfriend took me to-".

"BORING! Damn it Kagz, nothing bad happened? No deaths, car accidents, injuries of any kind?" she shook her head,

"What about some stairs? Did you trip up some stairs?" he was desperate to find something to make himself feel better.

"Nope, it was perfect, well except when he tried to have sex with me. I wasn't ready for that step, but he didn't get it so I dumped him" she told them.

"Well, your story doesn't count because you were only with him because he gave you nice things, material girl" he accused her, she shrugged.

"Can't deny the truth" she smirked.

"I adore your shallowness" the teacher grinned playfully before calling on someone else.

"So, we goin' out tonight?" questioned Kouga.

"Is today the 19th?" she countered.

He looked at the board which displayed the date which indeed said 'September 19**th'**. "Yup".

"Then I have plans from today till the end of this week" she filled him in. He nodded, knowing not to ask because she wouldn't tell him if he did. In all the three years he'd known her she'd never told him what she did this time every year.

"Will you come to school?".

"Tomorrow I'll be out. I only came today to get my work and things, but I won't see you again until this time next week".

"Ok".

"You didn't ask this year".

"I know you won't tell me" his blue eyes lazily looking her over.

She shrugged, "How do you know that?".

"You never do".

"I'll tell you when I get back".

"Kay" he answered and Bankotsu wondered why she was always out this time of year. She was always absent one whole week in school but no one never knew why.

"Bankotsu, anything happen with you?" the teacher questioned his favorite student.

"Did pretty much like I always do." he shrugged.

"LAME!*" the teacher rolled his eyes, "We might as well get class started or I'll kill you people" he said and the class chuckled lightly, knowing he was probably serious.

!#!

The student parking lot was almost completely deserted, Kagome noticed. Only four cars and a motorcycle, were left.

"Hey! Kagome!" called a familiar voice. She didn't bother turning around. It was only InuYasha. Her ex-boyfriend, as of two days ago.

"Go away InuYasha, you're not the person I want to see right now" she told him and wasn't at all surprised when he appeared in front of her car. She frowned,

"Move".

"We need to talk" he told her sternly.

"No we don't. Now if you'd please..." she tried to move around him.

"Kagome I love you!" he admitted and her face showed surprise.

"No you don't InuYasha" she looked him in the eyes and saw it there.

"I do Kagome. I've loved you for so long and when you gave me another chance, you gave me hope, but then you broke up with me. Why?" he was genuinely confused.

"InuYasha" she murmured, "I feel so sorry for you. You picked the wrong person to love. I am the person who you'll tell you're wife about in 10 years, claiming I broke your heart. I am the person everyone will smile at at the reunion, but none will mean it. The only person that will be there for me is Kouga. I'm sorry InuYasha, but I can't give my heart to you when it already belongs to someone" she flinched when he banged his hand beside her head. He was looking off to the side at nothing in particular, fuming.

So close.

She didn't doubt for a second that InuYasha could kill her if he wanted to. Sure she'd probably purify him before she died, taking her with him, but then he'd probably see that as a gesture of love.

Looking back to her, he demanded, "Why did you lead me on if you love someone else?".

"I didn't lead you on" she stated, calmly staring into his eyes.

"Relationships are usually based on 1 of three things. 1. Lust. 2. Love. 3. Likeness. You are none of those, you fuckin' bitch! You led me with the false hope that you would at least return my feelings" she was definitely surprised when he slapped her. It hurt like hell. Her jaw felt like it was out of place. He pushed passed her and stalked off. She didn't even turn to watch him walk away. She would admit to no one but herself that it hurt her to hurt InuYasha like that. She liked him a lot and had valued him as a dear friend, but she didn't deserve him and he deserved someone much better than her. Kagome felt her jaw and winced. It might be broken. Sliding into her car, she strapped herself in and drove to her place of solitude.

As she drove her jaw realigned itself and soon it was only sore.

* * *

Bankotsu'd watched the scene between InuYasha and Kagome with confusion. Why wasn't she fighting back? He noticed her expression was melancholy. He continued walking to his motorcycle and decided to go to a place he hadn't been in a while. His only place of solitude.

* * *

She arrived to the cemetery and parked in her usual spot. From there she walked across the grass, mindful of the head stones until she reached an all too familiar one.

She sat down in front of the beautifully carved headstone and sighed contently.

"I'm going to tell Kouga about you." Kagome began, looking to the sky, "I suppose he probably knows you existed, but he doesn't know that when I disappear, I come visit you".

"To his credit, he'd never asked about you, which is why I'll probably bring him here the next time I come." she laughed at a stray thought,

"I love that guy. So much. You would've loved him too. He's funny and fun to be around. According to him, today is the anniversary of when we first met. He surprised me with flowers today. I thought it was so sweet. He is the best friend a girl could ask for. When I need him, he's just..there. He doesn't ask whats wrong. He is just with me. He understands me. While everyone else only tolerates me because they think I am so messed up in the head, Kouga doesn't think so. He thinks I'm crazy but it's for good reason. That's another thing that tells me he knows about you. Because after he said that, he left it alone. Many people think he's this goofy, overprotective, idiot, who likes to fight, and he is all those things." Kagome laughed,

"But there is something else under all that. He's serious when the situation calls for it and he is fierce when he cares about something. I know he'll be there for me, through everything and I'll be there for him. Always." she smiled softly,

"I know I usually don't come during this time because I risk Bankotsu coming at the same time, but I can't help it. I just had this feeling to come today. InuYasha told me he loved me today and I rejected him. I don't think we'll ever be friends again. I told him that I loved someone else and it wasn't a lie. I do love someone else, but it won't happen" She was silent for a long time,

"You know I ask God every night why you were taken from me. Why Rin? Anyone else I could've gotten over but you? Never, not my Rin." tears fell from her eyes in small waterfalls. Now that the dam had broken, there was no stopping it,

"I told myself I wouldn't cry, but so many things in my life have gone wrong." she hiccuped,

"Right now I'm not suppose to be sitting here, crying. I'm suppose to be having fun with you. I'm suppose to be bragging about you to all my friends. Bankotsu and I, we're suppose to be together. InuYasha is not suppose to love me because of a drunken one night stand after you died. Mother is not suppose to be buried beside you. None of this was suppose to happen!" Kagome choked out, tears still streaming down the face,

"When you died, my life fell apart. I didn't care about anything, anyone! I wanted everyone to stop fucking telling me how sorry they were!" she ranted angrily,

"I wanted the pitying looks to stop!"

"I wanted you back..." Kagome cried, "I needed you. You were the only element in my life that was stable. The one that would be there no matter what. Bankotsu and I were already falling apart. Sango had moved away and things were already downhill. But you, you were my ray of sunshine. The one thing I looked forward to. The reason I woke up in the morning. Just everything. And just like that you were gone" she had a sad smile.

"And once you were gone. So was everyone else" she murmured, closing her eyes and sighing deeply,

"I guess it was my fault. Now that I think about it."

"It wasn't you fault" a male voice protested behind her. She didn't have to turn to know it was him. How long he was standing there, she didn't know.

"It is, you said so yourself" she told him quietly. He grabbed a hold of her arm and roughly pulled her up to face him. She looked off into nothing.

"It is not your fault" he told her seriously, "Do you hear me Kagome?" he growled to her, "I said it was your fault because I needed someone to blame and I..I'm sorry. I am so sorry" his hand caressed her cheek. He hated the dead look in her eyes and wanted it to go away.

She didn't answer him, only looked into his sad eyes, "I'll leave" she turned out of his caress and didn't take two steps before he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his embrace.

"Kagome...don't leave me" he whispered into her hair. She froze for a few seconds, wondering if she'd heard the whisper before she slowly lifted her arms to encircle his torso.

"Never".

Rin Higurashi-Shikinara

September 19, 2005 – December 15, 2007

"The joy of her parents and many more"

Kagome Higurashi Bankotsu Shikinara

* * *

*- My favorite teacher screams that whenever we say something she considers 'Lame'. It's really funny, because she'll just go, "LAME!" right after the person says something, I guess that's her version of saying, "Fail".

Read & Review!!

You know you want to!

You should really do it.

Love,

Sesshomaru's Awsome (but still Beautiful) Kristin


End file.
